FINAL 9 - PP Picks

We are down to the nine greatest singers in the history of the world. Time to make your Pre-Performance Picks. Rank these contestants 1-9 giving nine points to the person you think is most likely to be voted out and so on and so forth blah blah blah.

This week is Dolly Parton week. That means one of two things. Either all of the contestants will be sporting humongous fake boobs or they will be singing songs from Dolly's fabulous catalogue. I can't wait to see who sings Why'd You Come In Here Looking Like That. They will surely suck.

Well, here are your contestants ...

MICHAEL JOHNS
Supposedly the great Aussie hope gained some ground last week with his power-rock medley. He is still one of my favorites but I still think he can't win because he doesn't "play the game" as well as the others do. I am surprised, however, that he dances in those group numbers - he is participating but I don't think it is helping him any.

BROOKE WHITE
Brooke should be fine as long as she doesn't stand up to sing and wave her yellow gumby arms. Dolly week should be kind to her - but you never know.



JASON CASTRO
First off, I was watching one of our favorite shows, The Soup, this past Friday and they did a whole segment on how it looked like Castro was a pothead. So I am not alone. Also - I saw a clip from MadTV where they interviewed some AI finalists on the red carpet - and they said Jason looked like Travolta in Battlefield Earth. You heard it here first.
Many people think that Jason should be the one to sing I Will Always Love You this week. I agree that his version would sound different - but I think it might make me hurl from the cheesiness.

CARLY SMITHSON
Carly is having a tough time. It doesn't matter that she sings well - she really has to get over those facial expressions and that bouncy dance. There just isn't that interesting thing about her to make people really care. Maybe she should get a tattoo of Archie on her left shoulder to win some favor from the young ones.

KRISTY LEE COOK
Oh Kristy. Surely Dolly sang the national anthem at some point in her career. Maybe there is hope. Make sure to wear your American flag bikini.


DAVID COOK
David has had an interesting week. He supposedly supplanted Archie as the frontrunner while pissing off a lot of rock fans for not giving credit for his covers of covers. If he does the White Stripes' version of Jolene he might just shoot himself in the foot. What will most likely happen is I will end up liking his performance even though I will be trying not to.

RAMIELE MALUBAY
Do you know why lip gloss is still in this competition? Well, the Philippine consulate in New York has been sending out messages to the press asking every Filipino to vote for "the only genuine Amateur competing against seasoned professionals." She sucked again last week but wasn't even in the bottom three. Those Filipinos sure seem racist.

DAVID ARCHULETA
If Dolly has any songs about the world becoming a better place - Archie (or his dad) will probably choose it. I know he supposedly lost his top spot to David Cook, but those 12 year old girls are pretty loyal. All he has to do is sing a song that is appropriate for his age - and they will be melting again.

SYESHA MERCADO
I should care about Syesha more than I do. I think most of America feels that way. It will be a shame when she goes before KKKristy.

American Idol EXPOSED!!!

For part of my normal research - I visit VoteForTheWorst.com
On that site, I found a link to this site that is finally exposing American Idol for the "fraud" that it is. It focuses much of the attention on the Songwriting Contest from last year. They contend that the American Idol producers aren't being totally honest when they call it an "amateur" competition and submitted the following information as proof ...

"Remember that that the songwriting contest, according to the shows producer Simon Fuller, was meant for amateur songwriters.

Ok, lets examine American Idol Songwriting Contest Champ Scott Krippayne’s true bio.
At Walmart.com, you can buy Scott’s 2005 "Gentle Revolution" CD for the low price of only $12.88. I’ve been to Walmart and looked, there isn’t an amateur CD section, but there is a Scott Krippayne section.

So much for searching for a great undiscovered songwriting talent.

And if you visit the U.S. copyright website, a quick search shows Scott Krippayne has written songs for several christian artist like Jaci Velasquez, Rebecca Saint James, Kathy Troccoli, Point of Grace and more.

And if you check out Scott’s Purplehonda myspace page, Scott says he has written 14 number 1 hits and 20 top 10 hits for artist like John Tesh, Ronan Tynan, Saddi Patty and more.

F.Y.I. Scott Krippayne also wrote the title track "Wonderful Crazy" for American Idol Juniors finalist Katelyn Tarver’s 2005 debut CD.

So much for having an untapped songwriter. He seems fairly tapped to me.

Scott Krippayne has written with Andy Marvel.
Ok, we know what your thinking, who’s Andy Marvel?
Well Andy Marvel is one of the songwriter’s on Jordin Sparks 2003 "For Now" Demo CD.

And then there’s Matthew Ward.
Both Matthew Ward and Scott Krippayne get credit for solo’s on "The Heart of a Martyr" Celtic Cry CD.
Matthew Ward produced American Idol winner Jordin Sparks 2003 "For Now" demo CD.
Scott also has written with Jorge Corante.
Jorge was the producer on Paula Abdul’s "SpellBound" CD."

Man - that is pretty convincing stuff. I mean, how can you be considered amateur when you have penned songs for the greatest band of all time (POG)? I am so confused right now that I don't know what to say. This Scott Krippayne guy, whoever he is, should be ashamed of himself.


P.S. Does anyone want to write with me for this year's songwriting contest? Here are some titles I am working on ...

That Was My Then
On Cloud Nine
On Top Of The World
On Top of Cloud Nine
On Drugs
You Wish You Were Me
I Am Awesomer
This Magical, Mystical, Musical Moment
Look At Me Now Dad Who Always Tells Me What To Do
Right Where My Parents Dreamed I Would Be
Singin' Thru Your TV
I Am Having My Cake and Eating It Too
Follow Your Dreams, You Can Do It Even Though Tens Of Thousands Of Other People Couldn't Make It This Far
Simon Likes Me
and
Steel Bars

There are at least a few hits in there somewhere. I now challenge the rest of you to submit your fabulous song titles. Maybe we will just write the song here as a group.

Prediction Picks REVEALED!!!

I meant to do this a couple of weeks ago - but I can only dedicate so many hours of my week to this ridiculous thing called Fantasy American Idol.
Anyways - here are the prediction picks that everyone made before the Final 12 started performing. Remember - it is a prediction of the top three finishers - in order. You get 5 points for each contestant from your picks that makes it to the final three. You get 10 extra points for each contestant that was picked in the correct finishing position. Hopefully that makes sense.

As you look at these picks, remember that they were made in a different time. Back when Archie could do no wrong, Castro was the top-downloaded contestant on iTunes, Syesha was a front runner, David Cook was a poser, Carly still seemed to have upside and Kristy Lee Cook was still in the competition. Wait - she still is. Surely she will go this week when she does her version of O Canada.

Here are the Prediction Picks

Team Shivers 1 Archuleta 2 D Cook 3 Smithson
PaulaTics 1 Archuleta 2 Castro 3 D Cook
Simonsays 1 Archuleta 2 White 3 Smithson
Badnewz 1 Archuleta 2 Smithson 3 Johns
JC 1 Archuleta 2 Mercado 3 Castro
profB 1 Archuleta 2 Mercado 3 D Cook
Team35 1 Archuleta 2 Castro 3 White
Team Hasselhoff 1 Archuleta 2 Castro 3 D Cook
The Indiananans 1 Archuleta 2 White 3 D Cook
Seacrest Out 1 Johns 2 Archuleta 3 Mercado
Sanjaya Rocks 1 Johns 2 Archuleta 3 Mercado
Fire and Ice 1 Archuleta 2 Johns 3 Mercado
T & J Smith 1 Archuleta 2 Castro 3 Johns
Bessie Moo 1 Archuleta 2 Castro 3 White
Thaddeus Glapp 1 Archuleta 2 Mercado 3 Johns
Zebra Fight 1 Archuleta 2 Johns 3 D Cook
AMightyWin 1 Archuleta 2 Mercado 3 Castro
The New Last Place 1 Smithson 2 Archuleta 3 Mercado
Leftcoaster 1 Archuleta 2 Castro 3 D. Cook
Yo-Yo Dawg 1 Archuleta 2 Johns 3 Smithson

SCORES - TOP 10 - BESSIE MOO ON A ROLL

Looks like Chikezie is headed back to his TSA choir.

Last night Kristy was not even in the bottom three. Her plan of appealing to the Jasper, TN crowd worked.
I think Castro kind of deserved to be in the bottom three. Hopefully it will wake him up a bit to try harder.
Syesha shouldn't have been in the bottom three, but somehow Ramiele avoided that fate. I just looked it up and found that there were 1.4 million Filipino Americans according to the 1990 census (about 600,000 more than Japanese Americans). Apparently she is getting that vote along with all of Danny Noriega's fans - who are called Danimals or DannyFannys. That second one is just too much for me.

My favorite part of the show last night was the final pose for the group number. Michael Johns was on the far right and for that last note of the song he dropped to his knee and stuck his arm between Brooke White's legs. Interesting choreography.

Now, on to the scores. Bessie Moo gets her second weekly winner spot. She is mounting quite a comeback.

The scores are listed a little differently today.

Team name - (Top 12 score)(FullSeason Score)(PP Pick)(Bonus Pick)(Top 10 week score)

Bessie Moo - 40 155 10 7 17
Idolsmith - 38 148 8 8 16
Leftcoaster - 41 41 8 7 15
Sanjaya Rocks - 34 158 8 7 15
Fire and Ice - 42 150 8 6 14
Thaddeus Glapp - 40 161 9 5 14
AMightyWin - 40 40 9 5 14
PaulaTics - 40 170 8 6 14
JC - 39 167 8 6 14
Seacrest Out - 35 170 8 6 14
Team Shivers - 34 154 9 5 14
Yo Yo Dawg - 33 33 7 7 14
Team35 - 43 165 9 4 13
The Indiananans - 35 156 8 5 13
Badnewz - 32 129 8 5 13
Zebra Fight - 27 155 7 5 12
Simonsays - 36 151 6 5 11
profB - 35 158 8 2 10
Team Hasselhoff - 23 123 7 1 8
The New Last Place - 21 21 0 0 0

Final 10 - Bonus Picks

Time to get the bonus picks in. Remember - you have 15 total points you have to distribute to 3 contestants (each contestant must have at least one point). Picks must be in before the show tonight.
Some people said that some of the pictures from yesterday's post weren't showing up. I think I fixed it - so you should be able to scroll down and enjoy them in their full glory.

On to last night's performances ...

Ramiele - sounded like crap to me. I doubt she is going to go though. She has some sort of deal with the mafia.

Castro - Dear Team IdolSmith, I know how much you love Jason Castro. I believe he is a nice guy. You are right, he probably doesn't smoke pot. He is a nice Christian boy. However, I will still make fun of him for smoking pot - not so much because smoking pot is funny - but because people who smoke a lot of pot are funny. They have delayed reaction time. They don't seem to care about much. They always have this goofy smile on their face. Some of them have nappy hair. Not only does that describe Jason Castro - but it describes his performance last night.

Syesha - I was right about all of those weeks when Syesha couldn't really hit the notes. The last two weeks, however, she has done some very nice singin'. I think Simon hit the nail on the head, though, when he said that there were limits to her vocals. That dude is smart.

Chikezie - It took me a record 3.6 seconds to fall asleep to this one.

Brooke - Her voice sounded good on this song - but I don't think it was that great overall. I agree with the judges that the band sounded corny when they came in. However, there wasn't much to her piano part and it was getting old very quickly. I think it was right for the band to come in - just not in the way they did. If Blake Lewis was doing it, he would have had the band arrange some cool groove to the song to give it some dynamics. It sounds like they just took the first beat they could find on GarageBand and used it for Brooke. At least she didn't have as many awkward glances at the camera.

Michael Johns - I really like this guys voice. Sure the song medley seemed a little self-indulgent, but coming from Michael you knew that he just felt that he had to do something a bit more showy. If it was David Cook it would have been a different story. Mrs. Commissioner was very pleased.

Carly Smithson - I spent the whole performance trying to explain to Mrs. Commissioner what was wrong with it. She likes Carly and thinks that she wants to win more than anyone else. I think that might be true. I just keep saying that her voice is good, but she is completely unrelatable. I realized last night that much of it is just her facial expressions. She always looks like she is really into it, then she will open her eyes and she is looking up at the ceiling with a possessed look - much like Eddie Vedder's facial expression as he puts the "gun" to his head while singing "Jeremy" - spooky. I am surprised I haven't had any nightmares yet with Carly looking at me that way. It is sad that that has to be a factor - but it just does.

David Archuleta - What in the world was that song? Sure he can sing but I don't want to hear anyone sing songs like that. Simon was completely right about that being the kind of song you sing with animals running around you at a theme park. I am just glad Archie wasn't born the year of "We Are The World" or "Dear Mr. Jesus".

Kristy Lee Cook - One of the first CDs I ever purchased was Lee Greenwood's Greatest Hits. I was a loser in high school. Kristy might as well have been wearing my American flag jacket last night. It really was a great song choice for someone who wants to stay in the competition. Too bad she had to sell her soul to sing it.

David Cook - I have mixed feelings about this one. He really did a great job of singing. That note he held out might have been my favorite vocal moment so far this season. That is hard for me to say. However, the judges were talking about how original he is and it was driving me crazy. Ryan Seacrest even said in the introduction that it was Chris Cornell's version of that song. It sounded like Chris Cornell (just not quite as awesome). Sure David did a good job with it, but don't give him credit for the arrangement. He did the same thing with Elanor Rigby - ripping off someone else's version and not really giving them credit for it. If you want to talk about original - Blake Lewis is the guy. The idea that David doesn't have any problem taking credit for the originality of the performance kind of bothers me. But man he really is pretty good.

One last thing. WTF was Paula wearing? I am beginning to think that the judges are like the cast of Weekend at Bernie's. Randy and Simon are alive - just dragging around this lifeless corpse of Paula Abdul, pulling a string in her back and making her say nonsensical phrases like "That was ... you are ... well, you know how much greatness ... you should be proud." And if she says "brilliant" one more time I will have to get a new TV because my current one will have a steak knife sticking out of the middle of it.

FINAL 10 - PP Picks

Time for the PP Picks. Rank these contestants 1-10 giving 10 points to the person you think is MOST likely to be voted off. Leave your pick as a comment to this post.

While talking about rules, you all should know that I received a bunch of complaints from whiny babies last week about people submitting their picks late. Here is how I see it - there is a special layer of hell reserved for people who would try to cheat at Fantasy American Idol. That being said, I guess it is worth saying that you NEED to have your picks in BEFORE showtime in CST.

Here are two things I will do to fix this situation ...

1. I reserve the right to give a 5 point deduction for late picks, to not take them at all or to take them with no penalty.
2. I now give Sanjaya Rocks the position of "Enforcer". Really all that means is that if you submit late picks, I give the Enforcer permission to tear you apart with his comments - kind of like a Comedy Central roast. He might not let up until you cry. So be warned.

As for the competition, who knows what to think anymore. The only thing we can know for sure is that Paula will speak complete nonsense the next couple of nights. Sometimes I am grateful I am not sitting next to a loaded pistol when I watch her try to get her "thoughts" out on TV.

This week, I found pictures of celebrities that would surely star in the made-for-TV after school special show about this year's top 10. I also listed some interesting items you might find requested in their riders on the American Idol Season 7 tour.

DAVID ARCHULETA

Hubba Bubba Bubble Gum
Framed Picture of Joseph Smith
Glass Case to store Star Search trophy in
High School Musical DVDs
Puberty


RAMIELE MALUBAY

Hair gel
Hair spray
Hair brush
Platform Shoes
Danny Noriega


DAVID COOK

Full Length Mirror
Vanity Mirror
Hand Mirror
Mel Bay's book of Guitar Chords
A bust of Lionel Richie



CARLY SMITHSON

Temporary Tattoos
Copy of Heart's Little Queen CD
One box of Lucky Charms
Case of Guinness
A Personality


JASON CASTRO

Cheap guitar
Weed
Cheetos
*no showers needed





SYESHA MERCADO

Tempest Bledsoe's stylist
50 Headshots of herself
Vegetable Tray
220V outlet for her hair dryer





MICHAEL JOHNS

Bullwhip
Shrimp on the Barbie
Case of Fosters
Door-size poster of Nicole Kidman
Dignity


BROOKE WHITE

Toothbrush
Huge Earrings
Framed Picture of Joseph Smith
Any Rated R movies you can find



CHIKEZIE EZE

Cowboy Hat
Chaps
Spurs
Burger King's Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch

KRISTY LEE COOK

Lorrie Morgan CDs
A death threat letter from David Hernandez
A thank you note from Amanda Overmyer
Performance Skills

SCORES - FINAL 11 - Overmyer hits the road

Yet another surprising night. Amanda is gone.
Let me start by saying that I finally watched the performances yesterday and - man they were awful. Syesha was probably my favorite - finally hitting some of the notes and using her acting skillz. Archie was his normal self. Michael Johns did well and was actually dignified while the judges dissed his performance (if he went later in the evening I think the judges would have liked it much more).

As for the rest of the performances, Mrs. Commish said that the evening should have been titled "The Monsters We Have Created". It felt like we ended up with a bunch of singers who don't know how to handle all of this attention without thinking that they are the center of the universe.

Let's start with Brooke. If you didn't see her performance, that is OK. Just go to the downtown Nashville Library this weekend and watch any marionette show. That is how she moves - arms flailing while shifting weight from one gangly leg to another. I literally had to look away for most of the performance to make it through the song. But even worse than the performance was the way that she wouldn't shut up when the judges were giving her comments. Last night she said, "Its Ok. It was bound to happen." As if to say - "Even the great ones fall sometimes - and I fell - and I am a great one (insert cheesy head-tilting smile)". She needs to watch Michael Johns' reaction. He took it with dignity - which is what he will still have whenever he is voted off of this ridiculously awesome show. I like Brooke - she seems nice - but even the great Doolittle who had the best voice of all never thought about being so arrogant. Listen and learn Ms. White.

David Cook's performance was good, but he was kind of infected with the same bug. Watching him play with and talk about the talk box was like watching a seven year old play Zelda - begging you to watch him beat some high level adversary while talking about how awesome he is at video games. Very self indulgent.

Jason Castro - first un-tuck your shirt. Then stop prancing around the stage making those goofy faces. I couldn't watch that one either.

Chikezie - I felt like I was in Pigeon Forge.

Ramiele - zzzzz

Carly - every week I feel like she is looking more and more like the prosthetic head filled with a bomb that Arnold wears through customs on Total Recall.

Who else am I forgetting? Oh. Kristy Lee Cook. At least she didn't do her bow-legged stance this week. Now I actually feel sorry for her. It looks like she would have rather been voted off than to live another week to have Simon say she was a horrible performer. She looks like she feels guilty whenever she gets to stay and someone better gets voted off. It was the same way with Antonella Barba. After a while we started to think she was a suicide risk. I half-way expected Kristy to turn to the crowd and say "Please stop voting for me. I can't take it anymore." She might just get her wish next week. But at least she has a job on the AI tour for the summer.

That brings us to the scores. I loved seeing all of the configurations on the bonus picks - lots of people taking risks. The problem is that most people didn't think that Amanda was going to get booted. That is what makes this game so great.

With a super come-back, Bessie Moo was the weekly winner. Congratulations.

Seacrest Out and The PaulaTics were able to hold on to the overall lead, but the race got a lot closer. Meanwhile, Team 35 takes the lead in the Top 12 competition.

Here is how the scores are listed:
TEAM NAME / PP Pick / bonus Pick / weekly total

Bessie Moo 10 5 15
The New Last Place 11 3 14
Team35 11 0 11
Fire and Ice 8 1 9
JC 9 0 9
Idolsmith 8 1 9
Badnewz 9 0 9
PaulaTics 8 0 8
Leftcoaster 8 0 8
profB 8 0 8
Seacrest Out 8 0 8
Sanjaya Rocks 8 0 8
Team Hasselhoff 8 0 8
Thaddeus Glapp 7 0 7
Simonsays 7 0 7
The Indiananans 7 0 7
Team Shivers 7 0 7
AMightyWin 7 0 7
Yo Yo Dawg 6 0 6
Zebra Fight 6 0 6

BONUS PICKS - FINAL 11

Time to make your bonus picks. WE CHANGED THE SCORING SYSTEM FOR BONUS PICKS - so if you didn't read the "Fuzzy Math" blog post a couple of days ago then please pay attention.

For these bonus picks, you have 15 points that you can sort among 3 contestants. You have to give each contestant at least one point (that means the most you can give a contestant is 13 points - giving 1 point to each of the other two). When a contestant is voted out tonight, you will get the amount of points you allotted to that contestant.

Make these picks before the show starts tonight by leaving a comment to this post.

Since I haven't watched the show yet, I will give you some comments sent from an outsider. This outsider is familiar with many of the people in this league. I won't tell you his name, but I will give you some clues. He lives near Kansas City. He was not in a band with his wife and some friends called Landshallow. He was watching the episode with Team 35 and they forwarded me these comments ...

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING COMMENTS ARE RATED PG-13 for language

This guest commentary of last night’s show comes to you from Team35’s American Idol Strategic Gameplay Command (a/k/a couch), from media maven and general music mogul, Don “The Conductor”, who is visiting from Kansas City. DtC’s commentary below:

Amanda Overmeyer
“Show these jokers what you got.”
“She’s about to lose her voice – but that’s cool.”
“I just think she’s the real deal.”
“See? That’s the kinda $h!t I’m talking about.”

Kristy Lee Cook
“I don’t like this girl.”
“Weak link! Out!”
“Don’t get me wrong. She’s pretty enough.”

David Archuleta
“This will either be… well, it will be bad.”
“He is pretty good. Yeah, he’s killing it.”
“Ah, that was pretty good. But that is one of my least favorite Beatles songs.”
“I thought he took the right amount of liberties.”

Michael Johns
“Oh yes!!”
“A little pitchy tonight. I think his voice is hurting.”
“I want to see how they get into that B section.
“I didn’t think it was a mess.”
“It was nice to hear him wrap his voice around those melodies – though he didn’t do a good job of wrapping.”


Brooke White
“She reminds me of Carol King. But don’t play $h!tty guitar on it though.”
“I like her tone and she seems authentic.”
“She said “woo”…”
“She looks sorta like a Chiquita banana. Ooh! Not so much with the moving around. Ouch!”
“Not the success of the last one.”

David Cook
“I don’t really like this guy. Oh NOOO..! Is he gonna do a TALK BOX SOLO?!?! Get ready for it ladies and gentlemen…”
“It sounded like he said ‘day stripper’.”
“D@mm!t , I don’t like his look, his taste... yeah …as much as it offends everything I love about music, that worked alright.”

Carly Smithson
“This is gonna be a disaster.” “Listening to a $h!tty piano arrangement of a great guitar song.” “Yeah d@mm!t . I really like her though.”
“Well at least the guitar came in there.”
“She does have some bizarre-o Marylin Manson / Tales From The Crypt makeup going on.”
“Other than the song selection, pitch, phrasing, tone, arrangement, performance and make up.. that was amazing. But I like her.”
[on Paula’s comments] “It’s like the ante-room for an AlAnon meeting - they’re just showering each other with co-dependant mutterings.”

Jason Castro
“I’ve heard he’s good.”
“Sometimes that band sounds awful - it sounds like the demo from a Casio keyboard.” “Mmmm! That’s a real guitar tone! That bass line sounds like “Happy Trails”.”
“Weeeellll, that was pretty good.”
“You know, he really has that Menudo quality – just effeminate enough to appeal to the young girls.”

Syesha Mercado
“Aw.. she did a good job on that. It wasn’t boring like I expected it to be.”

Chikezie
“Ehhh. He’s doing it roughly right.”
“Wow this is like a bad john Denver concert. Ahh NO! What’s happening here?!?! Wow. Scratch that… it’s like a Hee Haw episode… …featuring Darius Rucker.”
“He’s got to remember that if he’s gonna do that hayseed thing, it needs to have a funky underbelly.”

Ramiele Malubay
“She’s terrible, right?”
“What’s that dance? It’s like a penguin.”
“While I was determined not to like her performance, it was actually passable.”

FINAL 11 - PP Picks

I read something last week saying that David Archuleta threw his performance last week so that he could ditch the "frontrunner" spot and fall back in with the rest of the contestants. Of course that is ridiculous, but why don't we just pretend that it is true - and that this competition is the most important thing in the world.

What we do know is that nothing in this world of American Idol is certain. Just when you think Chikezie might be on his way out, he jumps around so much that everyone was talking about how great he was. Just when you think Archie has it locked up - he sucks big time. Just when you think that a male stripper would be voted off, he gets voted off. I don't know what to think.

With that in mind, let us make our Pre-Performance Picks for the final eleven. Rank the following contestants 1-11, giving 11 points to the contestant you think is MOST likely to be voted out.

I don't have time for comments, so I will just supply you with each contestant's quote from their high school yearbook.

AMANDA OVERMYER
"Leave me the F*&# alone." (with a raspy voice)




MICHAEL JOHNS
"I love Kangaroos."





BROOKE WHITE
"True love waits!!!!"





JASON CASTRO
"Whatever man ... I mean, I don't know what to say ... I guess stay true to ... man, I have the munchies."


CARLY SMITHSON
"Sorry I can't be there for graduation. I have gone to the states to make a record for a big label and I am going to sell millions of them and be famous and marry a nice, clean-cut American boy. Mark my words."

KRISTY LEE COOK
"We'll put a boot in your ass - its the American Way." - Toby Keith



DAVID COOK
"Someday I will grow an awesome soul patch."




RAMIELE MALUBAY
"Damitan mo man ang matsing, matsing pa rin."
(A monkey dressed up is still a monkey.)


DAVID ARCHULETA
"I have no time for high school. My days are too full of appearances and performances my dad has scheduled for me."


SYESHA MERCADO
"De-Wayne ... find me a big, beautiful shell."




CHIKEZIE EZE
"One day Ryan Seacrest will wipe the sweat off my head with his own hands."

WARNING - FUZZY MATH COMPLAINTS

I know many people on here have accused me of fuzzy math. I don't give a rat sass.

I just happen to be a math guy who enjoys fine-tuning the rules to make this league even better. And nobody can say that I would ever change things for my advantage. To further prove this point, I am now announcing a change in the bonus picks scoring system. My team just so happens to be tied for first place at this moment, but I want to find a way for folks to catch up if they are willing to take risks. I actually thought of this change last year, but forgot about it until last week.
So please pay attention to this scoring change.

Traditionally, we have three bonus picks after the performances worth 8, 5 and 2 points. From now on, you will have a total of 15 bonus points that you have to assign to three contestants in any way you want (each contestant must be assigned at least one point).

So bonus picks from last week could look like this:

8 - Hernandez
5 - Kristy Lee Cook
2 - Syesha

or

13 - Hernandez
1 - Kristy Lee Cook
1 - Syesha

or

5 - Hernandez
5 - Kristy Lee Cook
5 - Syesha

or any other configuration of 15 points.

So if you want to keep making bonus picks like we have been - that is totally fine because it fits the 15 point scheme - but if you want a bigger headache when making your picks, you have the freedom to assign the points how you want.

Just remember ...

- Total of 15 bonus points
- assign to 3 contestants (each one with at least one point)

If some of your math is off and you happen to assign more than 15 points, the points will be subtracted from each contestant starting with the highest ranked one (kind of like taking hotels off Monopoly properties).

If you have questions or complaints, please let me know.

SCORES - FINAL 12 - Adios David Hermandance

I never knew that "pizza bistro" was a nickname for male strip clubs. Remind me never to go to one of those new Pizza Hut restaurants.
Tonight we had to say goodbye to the most famous male stripper in America. David didn't seem too happy about it. He actually looked kind of pissed that he was ousted before Kristy - but to be fair, it is difficult to tell the difference between David's pissed off look and his sassy, no-nonsense singing face.

Mr. Hernandez technically had a good voice. He is just up against a group of guys who generally have some sort of artistry to them. Outback Johns, Davy Cook, Castro and Archie all seem to have good instincts of how to change a song to fit their artistic persona. Chikezie isn't quite in that league, but he sure can run around a bunch. Hernandez on the other hand just seems to regurgitate the songs - running them through a R&B vocal trick machine and performing them like only the best Pigeon Forge performers could. His performances remind me of the Freshman Vocal Seminar classes at Belmont - where all of the girls sang their best versions of "Here In My Heart" to the Susan Ashton track. Nothing really special about it.

Now that we have said our goodbyes we can get on to the scores.

We will continue to keep the Full Season scores going, but for the new teams that just joined us, I will keep everyone's scores from the Top 12 as well. You should see the two different score columns on the right. Of course Full Season is the one that matters most, but the Top 12 winner will be cool too.

This week we have multiple weekly winners - Team 35, Fire and Ice and Thaddeus Glapp. Congratulations. All three of them ranked Hernandez 11th in the PP Picks and gave him 8 bonus points.

A few teams didn't even make their bonus picks (Hasselhoff, The New Last Place, AMightyWin). Two of those teams were newbies - so I guess I should say that it is important to subscribe to this blog so you can stay updated on the instructions in new blog posts. One team (Bessie Moo) was trying to make a comeback but forgot to invite Mr. Hernandez to the bonus pick party - so she might as well have skipped the bonus picks too.

Thanks to some great point swings, the field is getting closer for the Full Season scores. The Paulatics have moved into a first place tie with Seacrest Out. Man those PaulaTics people are super smart.

Zebra Fight tried to hide his homophobia by giving David H. better marks than he deserved - and it backfired. He dropped a number of places.

The scores listed below tell the team name, the team's PPPick ranking for D.Hernandez, the team's bonus pick ranking for him, the teams total points for this week. Look at the columns on the right for the standings and total scores.

Team35 11 8 19
Thaddeus Glapp 11 8 19
Fire and Ice 11 8 19
AMightyWin 11 8 19
PaulaTics 10 8 18
Simonsays 10 8 18
Leftcoaster 10 8 18
profB 9 8 17
JC 8 8 16
The Indiananans 10 5 15
Seacrest Out 8 5 13
Team Shivers 8 5 13
Idolsmith 8 5 13
Yo Yo Dawg 8 5 13
Sanjaya Rocks 9 2 11
Badnewz 8 2 10
Zebra Fight 7 2 9
Bessie Moo 8 0 8
Team Hasselhoff 7 0 7
The New Last Place 7 0 7

BONUS PICKS - FINAL 12

I haven't watched all of the performances yet so I can't give you any real commentary about it. I did see Chikezie though. Then I saw Ryan Seacrest react to Chikezie. Some people forgot to take their Ritalin.

Anyways, it is time to submit your bonus picks. These ones are a little different from the past week's bonus picks because only one person will be voted out - so pay attention.

You have THREE picks worth 8, 5 and 2 points. Give them to whoever you think will be voted out - obviously giving 8 points to the person you think is MOST likely to be voted off. Leave your picks as a comment to this post before the results show tonight.

Good luck.

FINAL 12 - PRE-PERFORMANCE PICKS

It is time for the Final 12 Pre-Performance picks. By the way, I am tired of typing out "Pre-Performance" Picks - so they will now be referred to as P.P.Picks. Rank the singers 1-12 giving 12 points to the person you think is MOST likely to be voted out. When the contestant is voted out Wednesday night, you will get the amount of points you allotted to that singer. Leave your picks as a comment to this post.

Also, don't forget to e-mail me your Prediction Picks (which are totally separate from these PPPicks) before the performances tonight. See the entry below for a description of these picks.

AMANDA OVERMYER
Last week it seemed like Amanda was tired of being made fun of. She was probably angry about the picture of Stripe I included in her description last week. So she will either be performing with a vengeance or she might do something stupid to throw the competition because she hates all of the shiny happy people she has to hang around all day.

MICHAEL JOHNS
I don't think Michael is at all interested in winning American Idol. He might even be happy to make an exit before he is forced to sign away his firstborn son to 19 Entertainment. He is kind of too mature and professional for this show anyways and the deeper he gets in the competition, the less street cred he might have in the genre he needs to be in.

BROOKE WHITE
I originally thought Brooke would be one of the first blondies to go. Now it looks like she will just might take a seat in one of her huge hoop earrings and ride it to the final 6. If they have a LOTR Elvish Theme week, she would be awesome even though she probably hasn't seen the movies - with their PG-13 rating and all.

JASON CASTRO
Well, I was mostly wrong about Jason last week. I thought he was going to fail miserably without his guitar because we would be able to focus more on his weird facial expressions. Everyone still liked him. I don't think he is going anywhere anytime soon.


CARLY SMITHSON
I just don't know what to think of Carly anymore. Supposedly she is still very popular with the voters, but I can totally picture on any given week that people will just not have any motivation to vote for her. There is nothing endearing other than her accent. I still think she has a good voice, but I feel the same way about Josh Groban and I have never had a desire to listen to him.

DAVID HERNANDEZ
I mean, what is the difference, really, between a gay stripper and, say, a female cage fighter. What is the big deal? Just because he danced around naked doesn't mean that he doesn't fit in on American Idol. Strangely, it actually makes him more qualified - which you will clearly see when it is Sodom & Gommorah Theme week.

KRISTY LEE COOK
Did you ever have one of the high school cheerleaders in your speech class? They were the ones who always looked presentable and covered the bases of what they were supposed to talk about yet seemed like they didn't really know anything about what they were talking about. That is what I think of whenever Kristy performs. Dead behind the eyes.

DAVID COOK
I must admit that I didn't like David very much at the beginning. He fails my hair threshold test. He kind of has the voice of a butt-rocker. But I actually really liked his version of "Hello" last week - even though it didn't include one of my favorite solos of all time or a blind girl on stage making a clay sculpture of his head. This might seem weird, but the part that really made me respect him was at the end. He sang "But let me start by saying ..." and I was expecting the "I love you" line which was going to make me cringe in that setting. But then he skipped the cheesy part and went back to "Hello - is it me you're looking for." Tastefully done Mr. Cook.

RAMIELE MALUBAY
How many Filipinos and really short people are there in this country? I mean, she has that vote locked up but I just don't know how long it will keep her in the competition. Some people seem to like her because she is "spunky". I just don't think she will be able to stand out long-term. She is more like-able than Amanda, Kristy and Carly but she might not outlast them.

DAVID ARCHULETA
When this guy hits puberty his luck is totally going to change. Just picture him with Carrico's do-rag and Luke Menard's five-o'clock shadow while playing David Cook's electric guitar. That might be the only way he could lose ground in this competition. He would lose almost all of his nice guy appeal. But the good news is I think Archie has a good 4 years left before his mustache appears.

SYESHA MERCADO
I have a scary feeling that Syesha could be the Brandon Rogers of last year. He and Melinda were the favorites going into the Final 12 and he was voted off that first week. I think he could sing better than Syesha can, but she definitely has the edge on the performance side. It is weird to think that she could realistically come in 2nd or 12th.

CHIKEZIE EZE
I hate to say it, but many people think that Chikezie made it to the top 12 because he was the only African-American of the final guys - so he had that vote locked in. Well, if that is true it sure seems that Syesha would take those votes from him now because she is much better. That could mean trouble for our friend T.C. who might just be taking his chopper home very soon.